Tinned Technology.

Recently I have been eating a lot of things in a tin.

Its not some kind of Victorian hipster renaissance that I'm trying to aspire to. Its more of an acknowledgement of the invention of the 'tin' or the 'can' that makes life so much easier and less stressful. You never get pissed off with a can, well besides a bad can opener.

Useful and nutritious too.

Kind of like the zip. No one speaks well of the 'Zip', but I think its probably one of the better inventions out there, compared to all these Google glass wanks that you see in Aberdeen craft beer pubs. I've only seen one, and he was French (Are they more technological cyborg people than us? 'Je NAE cest pas ken?'

Thank you Zip Man, you helped everyone, and nobody thinks about you. I think you look like a little pug. Cute. Again cheers.

It was enough to get me annoyed with the current state of affairs with technology. Even that virtual smoking inhaler stuff is baffling. It's like the future has come to the present, and we are still in the present, its not the future yet though.... I'm still in shock at it. Kind of like when I first saw an MP3 player at age of 13, mesmerized to where the music was kept on it.

Just No!

Anyhow back to the tin. Mackerel, Herring, Peaches, Anne Frank. Anything you think of, you can tin it. But my recent marvel at the tin, or joy of things canned in my case, has been incepted into my mind by a computer bug that was in my friends game of the Sims. I can justify such accusations.

I used to play the Sims communally with my friends. It kept us off the streets, and into the relative safety of the virtual world, away from the rougher kids in the square. We would each have own characters living together, it was the way things were meant to be, like the long rumoured euro-trip that never happened. Anyhow, we had this one 'bug' or 'glitch' in the game. Bob. Bob was like that friend that just showed up at your doorstep to play computer games with you. I was this friend to my friend with the sim playing capabilities coincidentally, and we are still great friends too.

Master of destruction.

Anyhow Bob had a reputation for coming in, eating your tinned food, and fucking off leaving a mess. Then in this particular instance, Bob came in, put a tin the microwave, fucked off to eat better gourmet tinned food someone else,causing a house fire killing three of us. The Only SIM friend to survive was Connor, and he got depressed, lost his job, and sat around watching TV all day.  David Cameron take note. The welfare state helps people out in hard times. The labour we put in was to much to bear, summer was coming, and we could face the rougher kids with water pistols and condom water balloons that were given to us by the students in the communal halls near us. We uninstalled the game.

But now part of me believes that Bob, Tron'd himself into me. Thus, why I now eat tinned goods