Sunday 18 May 2014

Godzilla.

I am a person of simple tastes. Not to say I'm a simpleton, but I just enjoy the quality of originality in the unrefined. Be it a stone baked Margarita pizza over a multitude of toppings, or a simple sweet crunchy apple. Anything complex overloads my Pentium two processor brain, and results in my brain making noises like an old dial up 56kb modem


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8XKhCfsTts


Anyhow, the movie Godzilla. It seems simple enough. Some Giant crustacean from the terassic period comes back to the 21st century and goes raj on Western Civilization. The Japanese, being smart, and good at maths know what to do. Godzilla goes away, humanity is saved to make new spoilt brat children that will shit all over the environment without consequence. This is basically the plot for any Godzilla film.

This particular Godzilla film does not really do that. It introduces some other giant flying monster under the acrimony 'Muto'.
 
At this point in the film, my head really started to hurt. I looked like this appropriate selfie.



Muto gets awakened by mining or something, and even more unbelievable spiel comes to the fore.

It just got worse and worse.



It enjoys radiation; Alpha, Beta, Gamma all of that Chernobyl food.. It goes about munching radioactive substances and just fucking shit up, it also wants to meet female Muto in America to have more 'cray' baby's. Godzilla gets involved, has a ruckus and saves humanity.


My Brain literally melted, and for reasons unknown, I have not suffered a brain hemorrhage at the keyboard yet.
 I cannot be done explaining the banality of this film anymore. Besides the great effects, sounds and introduction that lays a solid foundation, the film is let down by the boring protagonists. Except the guy who is a father of four, turned meth dealer, now seems to be working at Fukusima.

Jack of all trades, Master of fuck all.
 The God in Godzilla is really not allowed to appraised to by the audience that it should be as Jesus second coming. Its a right let down that the savior of humanity is not given much love or emotional focus.

Will Smith will be a happy man. His Godzilla film is superior.

Thus, I give this film five pizza pies out of ten. The over complication of a simple concept ruins what could have been an 8 year old boys wet dream. The complication of a simple recipe also ground my simple mind to a halt, and produced the logging on sounds we have forgotten from our latter years.

Callum,




My and one of my ladies.

This cat is Royalty.


Money and Cats over Bitches.

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